How to turn anger into positive action
Anger is scary.
It scares us when we feel it coming at us from others and it scares us when we feel it coming out of ourselves. Physiologically, anger is a reaction to something that is threatening. Psychologically, anger is an indication that an unconscious part of us has been activated, and that we are no longer close to self. In anger, we have moved into what analytical psychologist, C.G. Jung called a complex, which becomes constellated when triggered.
Our complexes influence our thoughts and actions outside of conscious awareness. A complex becomes constellated when it is activated by an event. In this state, we can exhibit strong emotions and behaviors that do not align with how we perceive ourselves. Mysteriously, we can feel as if we are being driven to think, speak, and act by an unknown powerful force. This constellation happens viscerally.
Jung explained it, “in an emotion, as the word denotes, you are moved away, you are cast out, your decent ego is put aside, and something else takes your place. We say, “He is beside himself,” or “The devil is riding him,” or “What has gotten into him today,” because he is like a man who is possessed.” Jung (1935)
Our anger lives next to our self, but it is not our self.
Fear is the most common stimulus for the reaction of anger. Anger is the outward expression of fear – fear of something being taken away, something put upon us, or fear of not being able to be who we feel we are meant to be. Anger and fear are useful to us as human animals, because they indicate something is amiss, either outwardly or more importantly inside ourselves. The key to anger being useful to us remains in the difference between consciousness and unconsciousness. And guess what helps us differentiate between consciousness and unconsciousness?
Our body.
Neuroscience that tells us that “only after the body has reacted can the conscious mind become aware of the reaction and recognize the constellation, if at all” (Krieger, 2014). Anger in the body can feel like heat or iciness or both at the same time. Anger can actually feel like the metaphor “my blood is boiling” with a rush of intense internal agitation in our veins. For many, anger gets immediately negatively introjected, so we go from feeling wronged or hurt by someone to feeling something is wrong with us. Additionally, because some of us are taught that anger is unbecoming, it can be intolerable for us to linger in the feeling state of anger, so we quickly leap to sadness.
Our body is our first messenger. The initial somatic senses of anger - tingling, boiling, flushing, cramping, heaviness, tightness, pounding, racing, trembling, forward-leaning, narrowing – all can be considered signs that our complex has been constellated and it’s time to slow down, get close to ourselves, ask questions, listen, and respond with conscious action.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself when you sense anger in your body:
What is my anger protecting?
What boundary is it pointing out?
Is this sensation moving, stuck, changing?
Is this anger about this moment or something older?
What does my body want to do with this energy and would that be productive?
What action would hold my truth and the complexity of this situation?
Our anger is helpful because we can feel it. But what we do with the feeling matters.
Anger that leads to effective action is NOT:
symptomatic action which come out of unconsciousness complexes within psyche
anger turned inward, which becomes felt as powerlessness and can lead to depression or shame
repressed or displaced anger which can turn into somaticized pain
anger ignited at the slightest provocation leading to destructive language and behavior such as assaults on self or others
anger that leads to unattainable or overly virtuous intentions, especially without awareness (Could it be that all those righteous “Karens” out there were told too many times to turn their emotional pain into a gratitude?)
All of the above ways that anger manifests action move us toward fear, which in turn evokes more anger. Then, we get into an endless anger/fear loop which is not sustainable. Quite literally, people get ill from staying in this loop.
Anger that leads to effective action IS:
anger that is noticed and felt in the body and named in the conscious mind
anger that, because it is felt in the body and held in conscious awareness, guides choices such as
1. clarifying values and boundaries
2. mobilizing and provides fuel for change
3. disrupting complacency
4. focusing attention on specific issues that need to be addressed
All of the above ways that anger creates effective change have one thing in common: consciousness.
So, what is consciousness?
Consciousness means that you are aware of your state of being while also having the capacity to reflect on that awareness. In other words, you can have thoughts, feelings, and sensations while also holding an observer perspective on those thoughts, feelings and sensations . It’s like have an outward and inward lens on yourself at the same time. The magic elixir that can turn your anger into positive change is consciousness and we get consciousness by facing ourselves.